Celebrating Women

 Happy International Women's Day. As the whole world celebrates women, I would like to celebrate the women in my life. This day is very personal to me - personal because I have a wife, a mother, sisters, friends and daughters (this is personal at an extreme level, don't make me start on it), my double Ts. 

Whether we agree or not, whether we like it or not, our lives revolve around women. I mean, we were born, right? For some of us, it's so much more. I grew up with and around my mother and sisters. Almost everything I learned and have become has so much to do with them. Mostly my mother - can I tell you a little sad story? I assume that's a yes...I can force issues too 🙄🙄. Last week, my good friend lost his mother and as I was there with him laying her to rest, I felt a strong hatred for the day I will lose my mother. In my mind, I started to think how it will feel and my body just shut my mind down - because I don't want to imagine it. That's how much that woman means to me. I am yet to meet a woman so strong and resilient, one who will never give up on anything, that never gave up on getting her kids where they are. Tell you what, sometimes I want to give up on this life but I remember h'awe Sande and I collect myself and push on. 

I can't even begin to describe how significantly instrumental my wife has been to get me where I am. She's probably the one woman I have known for a short time but feel like I have known her the longest. In the context of marriage and even as a person, I have grown and become a better man because of her. The amount of stupidity she has had to withstand is indescribable (do not call me stupid😂😂, only she has the permission) When I think of Wanjiru, I think strength, I think vulnerability, I think building, I think love. Of the women the world call phenomenal, my Wanjiru is more, by far! 

There has to be a mention of my sisters here. They are amazing women. My friends too, Adelaide, Roseline, Lozi, Miriam, M'meneni, Janet...this list can be long. The women in my life are incredible and I am grateful for them. Happy Women's day y'all amazing women!

If you thought I had finished...you are still reading this ain't you? Thank you. Celebrating women is a huge thing. Allow me to also put across a few things. 

I watched the video of the incident on Forest Road and it got me thinking a lot. I spent the entire morning thinking. WHY? Are we not in the twenty-first century? Is this not two thousand and twenty-two? Questions and thoughts ran through my mind. I have a few of these to share, I especially invite Lozi to think with me (guys, she's gonna come hard on me😅😅)

First, let me divert just a little. Do we celebrate men the same way we celebrate women? I am not sure how my brother and my boys will feel about the first part of this post - who cares? Is it their day - put Nigerian accent?😂😏 Okay, let me get serious. I am in Kilifi and there was a whole celebration here, organizations, both public and private coming together for International Women's Day. I have no problem with that, I wish we did the same for men. I know you want to shutter me with oh women empowerment! Oh, you have had enough of men being celebrated! When? Hear me out, it should be a problem that men are not celebrated as much, this is about equality right? Lozi, do not say a thing! (But I know you will and very constructively, ndo nakupenda 😒)

But I also have to admit that our society is far from appreciating women as they should. This is not a problem with men. Even women and that makes it really sad. Let's take it away from society and put it on the man with all his silence and inactiveness. I DON'T understand why and how a man would do what those  barbaric bodabodas did to that lady. Worse? I DO NOT understand why and how a man would standby when something like that is happening? I wish that was your mother or daughter or sister, I really do. Jesus!! I don't want to kill someone myself. NKT!

We cannot remain there though. And it's not enough to speak up! No, it is not. It's not even enough to get so angry about it like I am. We need to do something. That thing is definitely not waiting for another incidence. I understand the anger but why do I feel like we are only being reactive? Why can't we be more proactive? Why not be more consistent in helping both men and women appreciate, respect, and honour women? You are a woman and you are peddling around with "kwani sisi ni wanawake?" It sounds really small but behind it is a terrible attitude that despises and disrespects women. You adults think it is a joke...do you think it is for that little boy that is going to be a man someday? Hello good father! Do you think it is helping to scold that little man's mother in front of him? Do you think telling him "wacha umama" when he does something stupid is raising him to respect and honour women? Fathers and men!!! Do you have something to say? Oh, I get it, you won't say nothing because you are not that kind of man that would assault a lady in her own car? You think you are creating a better world for your daughter? Or do you want to see they have assaulted her too?  DO SOMETHING DAMN IT! 

Alright! Alright! Do not crucify me, men. I just had to drop that frustration there...but come one, we have got to do something as men or I wish the next one is your wife or daughter or mother or sister. You certainly will do something. Can we create a safe environment for women? I worry about them and I cannot imagine how much they worry about themselves. I do evening runs to some creek in Kilifi and there is this lady, Dorris, who is there almost daily. To just sit, and have her peace. There are also bodabodas eating their mogokaa and every time I feel she is not safe. That's how bad this is. I think it will take time but men need to start confronting it and women need to stop encouraging it - we all should not entertain it. 

Finally, this conversation needs to be balanced. It takes both men and women to create a safe environment and space for women and men as well. It will take both men and women to #BreaktheBias. We can condemn men all we want but if we can't do more than that, nothing is going to change.

This post was about International Women's Day.😊😊

Happy International Women's day!