Trusting again, when you don't trust no one.

I would like to write today about trust. Now, this can be a very sensitive area because many have wounds that haven’t healed and maybe this gets the wounds fresh. But you know what? Most times, wounds have to be cleaned up to heal well and that process is not so enjoyable but is worth it.

Let us begin with defining what trust is (Please do not feel like you are seated in a lecture hall😂😂) The oxford dictionary defines trust as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something. I love Merriam Webster, it adds character into the definition; assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. Look at these definitions. Trust is a strong thing. No wonder relationships cannot stand without it. Now, bringing relationships into the picture gives us a good beginning – of course knowing that the fabric of a relationship is in trust. You remove trust and there’s no relationship. If there is, it’s definitely either very superficial or fake.

If we are to meaningfully engage on trust, we need to find its origin. Where does the word come from? Forgive me, I did not dig into history books to find this. I do not think I have to anyway. Conviction will serve me better here. I believe some words are straight from God – like they would never come from anywhere else. Not even from man’s invention. Trust is one of those words. If there is anyone that can completely fulfil the requirements in the definition of trust – it is God. Now, trust is a consequence of faith. You believe before you can trust. You can only trust someone you believe in, otherwise, you cannot trust. Let’s leave faith for another day.

Let us combine these three things. Faith/believing. Trust. Relationships. That is a good order because I believe they occur in that order. Human beings are relational beings after the likeness of their creator and designer. We are by nature designed to relate to each other. We cannot do without one another. We need one another. And a good illustration is, if you live alone, tell me how it feels to stay in that house alone for long periods. Yoh, how’s quarantine coming😉😉?. Are you just fine being alone? I mean people say they don’t need no one in their life. If you will be honest with yourself, you will admit that you need people and if you go a few days without talking to no one, you slowly start losing your mind and then if you stay longer, maybe yourself. God expects us to build relationships and live together in peace and He knows that this cannot be achieved if there is no trust. So, God expects us to trust. To trust Him and trust people. It’s His design of our existence.

Well, let’s get away from the “theory” and into the hard stuff😊😊. Things you don’t want to hear but I hope you get the courage to let them help you. I have heard a lot of people say they don't trust no one. When you ask them why they say they have been betrayed far too many times😢😢. And well, that is very true. We all have been betrayed and heartbroken because the people we trusted failed in one or all the aspects of trust: character, reliability or truth. The pain that comes with broken trust is unbearable. This is a very good reason not to trust but hold up, let’s finish this together😐.

If you are careful, you will realize that the world has labelled trust as a weakness. Trusting someone is being vulnerable and the world has called vulnerability weakness. But is it? How could you trust someone if you cannot be vulnerable to them? It doesn’t work. I would like to introduce to you something uncommon about trust. Maybe it is common for you. Trust is a strength. If you trusted someone and they betrayed you, that’s on them. You are not the one with a problem but them. It literally takes energy to trust someone and that is why it is so painful when they break the trust. But hey, trust is such an investment. God wouldn’t have trusted us with such an ability. This is why we have to be very wise when we chose to trust people. Be careful that they deserve it. Trust is a strength and when you say you cannot trust anyone, you are simply saying that you are weak (that may not sound so friendly but it is the truth) No matter how many people betray, frustrate or disappoint you, you have sufficient reservoirs of strength to trust again. Even when it takes time because you have to heal.

God wouldn't expect us to trust Him if He knew that He was banking on a weakness. Because He, cannot trust weakness.  He trusts the strength in us to trust Him. And that strength is sufficient to trust others. Sufficient to absorb whatever amount of pain caused by betrayal and still trust again. People, I say this considering everything. Someone reading this is saying, “Andrew🙉🙉, you have no idea what I have gone through. The pain I have experienced is not worth it. I cannot risk trusting anyone again.” I hear you sweetheart; I cannot imagine how much you are hurting but I have an idea. I know people can hurt, betray and disappoint you, and they will. That is a given because they are people. But, before you judge or get too far to the point of, I can trust no one, please remember that you are a person. You have hurt, you have disappointed and betrayed people. No? Perfect you. (I am sorry it sounds like that) It is unfair to say that you will not trust again because someone hurt you; I am sure you also hurt someone else. So, you see, you are dealing with people like you are a person. And people will betray and hurt you but be sure that you also will betray and hurt people. The strength is in us being able to trust again regardless.

God help us. We are designed to trust and when we say we cannot do that, we are slowly undoing our code and the result is what the enemy wants - enmity, turmoil, hatred, frustration, bitterness. It takes a whole lot more energy to be all this than to trust. We just have to see it for what it is. And in the end, the result of not trusting is more disastrous to humanity than anything you can imagine.

 

I hope you will heal and trust again. Look inside, you will find the strength and look above, you will find the reason. You can trust again.😊😊